An Old Man’s Request
A few years ago I had a conversation with a very old (and I mean old) acquaintance in a manner of exchanging messages that only we understand. He came to me to ask for my help in a matter that had bothered him for decades. The funny thing was he was one of the leaders of a very exclusive group of people who basically kept to themselves and kept their lives very private. So much so that literally very few people knew about them as a group. Thus we had a simple conversation, which of course I would not include the other formalities and what-nots.
“What’s happening that would prompt you to ask me for help?”, I asked.
“I have a very high profile couple that needs to get over a relationship problem.”, he said.
Then I laughed.
“You are the only one I know who can give me objectively an opinion or a solution that may possibly shed light on the situation.”, he said.
I laughed again and asked him what I would get in return for such a favor, even though I knew that I could basically ask him for anything I wanted. But then again, it’s always fun to see what would be offered in exchange for your help. Which of course, was just that. He said I could ask him anything I want if my solution worked. Then it was my turn to tell him what to do.
“Let me know what’s happened, or simulate it with me, so it would be easier to find out what the possible solutions are. Then I’ll send you my solution.”
So the problem solving started, including the pain that came with it. The pain of thinking of a solution that is viable for the people involved. Because it pains me to even think that I should be the one thinking of a solution for an age old problem. I am after all just a housewife and a mother with no worldly experience.
And my solution is this.
Have someone or a group perhaps, put up a business to handle the situation and other similar circumstances that might occur in the future.
What is the problem of the high profile couple?
Infidelity with evidence.
Sometimes people are put to the test for one reason or another. Apparently, this high profile couple was put to the test for a single reason. To see if they were strong enough to survive and get through a big blow to their relationship and come out of it as unscathed as possible. Which of course is an impossibility, because no one can get out of a real-life test totally unscathed. A little scarred perhaps but not unscathed.
The issue is not that the test is a nuisance or should be removed from the equation. It has long been proven as a reliable method for filtering the strong, stronger, strongest and the exceptional from the rest.
What is needed is the cleaning crew after the test.
You see, we usually put up businesses and other such structures with a disaster prevention plan. Which is very concise and detailed most of the time. This is because money and investments and people’s lives are involved.
But we have not put up a disaster prevention plan for the “Infidelity test”. Primarily because the only solution that there always has been are the following words, “forgive and forget”. We do not think of infidelity as something similar to a wound that needs to be medicated, given a lot of patience and nurturing towards scabbing, and eventually peeling to bring out a new layer of skin, and finally scarring as a reminder of the mistake and the pain that should be prevented from repeating.
Emotions play a vital role in the process. The emotions of everyone involved, Which ranges from the couple, to the person who was used for the infidelity test, to the legitimate and illegitimate offspring if any.
Then what would be affected? There would be the relationship of the couple, the couple with their offspring if any, their relationships with their friends and even co-workers who know or find out about the infidelity and the options to either tolerate it or blurt it out, and of course their careers.
So, my solution is still to have someone or a group put up a legal and legitimate business to handle the situation. How?
There are two ways the bait would have been offered to the one being tested. Either the bait was hired and paid to tempt or it was “socially induced” to tempt.
By socially induced I mean,
- it was put in a situation where it would either cause the infidelity under the influence of drinks, drugs, and other chemical reactions, or
- as a conveniently placed bait at a time when the tested person is hormonally imbalanced, so to say, and would need immediate relief of physical urges, or
- presented as a better alternative to the current partner with the possibility of filling in the shortcomings without strings attached
- presented as a means to rise up their career with very little repercussions, or
- offered as a regular source of physical and psychological satisfaction to retain confidence levels as still “hot” or “attractive” over time regardless of wrinkles, sagging body parts and signs of frigidity or impotence, or
- other similar reasons that are relevant to the need to be socially acceptable
And these hold for both men and women who are put to the test without them knowing it.
How would the business work as a cleaning crew?
Before a test is implemented, the person to be tested and the bait should be included in the roster of people to monitor. Each move of both persons should be watched at all times, with or without clothing. And I don’t mean that as a joke since the testing is something the group is aware of being implemented and clothing is a determinant of a tested’s passing or failing status. Everyone who is an influencer to both are also monitored including any and all conversations they would have with them.
Potential people to socially induce to catch the bait if the person being tested passes the test should be put in place. This is to entertain the possibility of the bait becoming emotionally attached to the tested person. For if the tested person passes the test, the bait would be heartbroken and would cause long-term chaos on the tested person which would not be good for future plans of growth for the tested person. So the bait has to be given a new lease on life where opportunities to gain a real lifetime partner may be gained. As a bait that is left to themselves may continuously lose their confidence in themselves and prove to become unproductive in many aspects of their and others’ lives. Not a good possibility to consider.
The potential people should be prepared whether or not the bait is hired or socially induced into the relationship. Why? Because even hired people have a tendency to become emotionally and psychologically involved too. And hired people are more dangerous than socially induced ones because they know how to get around the people who are monitoring them.
When the test is passed, the bait is then introduced to other suitable partners. It is required to have the bait relocated to a different place of residence and work, and communication lines between the tested and the bait are slowly removed with the introduction of distance, added work and personal responsibilities requiring more of their time, and yes, even intentional manipulation of communication devices so as any attempt to communicate with each other would be preempted and avoided. Also geographical movements of both the tested and the bait should be planned so as not to have the same location at any point in time after the test is passed.
The above paragraph is a disaster prevention method that should be used to ensure that the “forgive and forget” clause can be put in place with the tested and the real partner. For when the bait has been slowly removed from the physical and virtual life of the tested, the healing of the relationship with the real partner becomes slightly easier and more manageable.
The healing process between the tested and the real partner may or may not need the help of real medication. Naturally, there would be the introduction of various kinds of counseling for married couples that they would be made to attend. And there is also the possibility of using top of the line medication to introduce numbness of emotions during situations where quarrels may arise and in turn become violent.
Since they are high profile people, they are forced to attend functions that require them to be together so such functions can also be used as alternative counseling methods, where the people surrounding them would constantly remind them of how such a good couple they make. Their friends can also be encouraged to remind them of the good times they had and that they are admired as still one of the strongest couples they know. The methods for counseling is something I would leave to the counselors to think of as this is their specialty.
Naturally, if the person being tested doesn’t pass the test, then, the cleaning process becomes different.
If there is evidence of the infidelity, the cleaning process changes.
Which is why I suggested a legal and legitimate business to handle the process. If testing is to be done regularly over time to many, there should be a comprehensive database and monitoring system for such and the manpower to do the monitoring and implementation of cleaning.
If there is evidence, the possible options for the real partner to take are to sue the tested and the bait for adultery and even concubinage. This would have various repercussions on everyone involved.
The evidence can either be photographic or video evidence, which could be handled in the usual way.
The evidence can also be an illegitimate offspring, that cannot be handled and taken cared of in the usual way.
This is where the business becomes important.
If there is the possibility that the real partner would not want to press charges and would want to follow the forgive and forget route, then the business has to manage the situation.
Here are the suggested steps for intervention.
There should be a legal agreement between the tested, the real partner and the bait that adultery took place and that the real partner does not want to press charges under certain conditions. Then the real partner should be asked what conditions are wanted.
However, I think these are the conditions that should be somehow included, according to my observations during simulation.
- The bait should be relocated to a residence and work as far away as possible from the tested and real partner
- The bait and the evidence should never be given travel rights to places where the real partner has travel rights to
- The bait and the evidence should never have the same geographical location as the tested, the real partner and their legitimate offspring in any point in time
- The evidence should not be allowed to have the same group of friends or in the future co-workers as the legitimate offspring at any point in time to ensure consistency of the healing process
- The tested should be cleaned of any and all kinds of fluid exchanges with the bait that may or may not cause health problems to the tested, the real partner and their offspring if any
- The bait should be forced to agree that it shall not receive any remuneration from the assets of the tested at any point in time
- The evidence should be given a specific separate asset account that it is legally allowed to receive from the tested, if their country’s laws requires the evidence to receive a portion of the tested’s assets as inheritance that the legitimate offspring do not know of and should never know of
- The evidence and the legitimate offspring should never be given the opportunity to meet each other to eliminate the repercussions of disillusionment of the real essence of marriage
- The bait and evidence cannot directly communicate with the tested, but should course all correspondence through the business for complete documentation
- For the needs of the evidence only, the tested should have a regular amount sent to the business as payment, and the shopping and actual payments should be done by an employee of the business to monitor all expenses as some of the expenses may or may not be tax deductible
- The tested may not in any way directly pay for the needs of the evidence at any point in time
- The evidence shall be trained and taught that infidelity is a crime and should be constantly monitored by the business not to commit infidelity in the future
Why the need for a business to handle all of this?
If they are requiring testing, then they should be willing to pay for it.
The cost of testing a person’s strength should not be burdened by the one being tested alone. I say this because if they didn’t put the person to the test, there would not be any problems, potential evidences and other such repercussions. That high profile couple would still be living a pristine and happy couple’s life until now should there not have been any testing intervention.
For people when left alone to live a stable life chooses to stay that way. The only reason they usually deviate is if they are socially pressured to deviate. And it is a well known fact that not many people are strong enough to say no to the temptation of deviation.
Such testing has to be placed into a system that can be monitored for the long-term. Why? Because using a legal business to monitor it makes the healing process more believable. If the real partner is assured that there is an independent legal entity taking care of the tested’s mistakes and weakness, then there would be confidence in following the forgive and forget route. For even the real partner would be able to require the business to provide proof that the tested has indeed turned a new leaf and would want to return to being faithful again to the commitment. The evidence can also be monitored by the real partner with the assurance that the real partner can plan future activities which would prevent legitimate offspring from “accidentally” being in the same place as the evidence which would cause emotional repercussions that would span until adulthood and their relationships too.
I think it only makes sense that since the test was put in place for a professional reason, then the cleaning and cure should also be in a professional manner. It is easier to continue being a strong high profile couple if they both know that the mistake has been cleaned and is being managed professionally.
This, I am addressing my old acquaintance, is my preferred solution according to the simulation. With the technology we have today, gone are the days when we could handle these testing situations with just confidential meetings at undisclosed locations or very public places and conversing in hush tones or highly coded words. The old ways of handling infidelity is overshadowed with the speed of communication using the devices we have today. For such secrets are not as easy to hide today as they were in decades past. And in the future, those who are the young ones today would be replacing the people in my old friend’s group, those of which would be more adept to using technology to dig secrets their partners keep. Thus, if newer methods of handling the testing are not put in place, then there might be more damage to relationships in the future for those who are in line for testing for future generations.
If I was to be asked, the main concern here is the values it would taint over time. Statistically, offspring from broken families have a harder time keeping a family or even a relationship together.
If the evidence is a boy, it would give the impression that he could do the same thing the tested did. Which is to screw around and not care about the consequences whether he is in a relationship or not. And such an attitude could cause another partnership to be destroyed even if they are not being tested.
If the evidence is a girl, it would give the impression that the girl can become a bait and it would be okay to be one regardless of the consequences to herself, her potential offspring and the person who is committing infidelity with her.
The same values would then be carried on to their offsprings, which would possibly cause more repercussions to other couples who are not even being tested but are just ordinary people.
Or they could just destroy any chances of the evidences ever having a normal relationship with anyone, if worse comes to worse.
Because whether we like it or not, people live their lives according to their values. Very few live according to their intellect. So the situation must be viewed also in terms of people’s values and how strong or weak they are in keeping them.
This is the most objective way I could possibly analyze the situation after the simulation.
And yes, the simulation was painful. Though I am somehow glad it was given to me. Because if it was given to someone else, they would have probably not have been able to survive it for the simulation would have eaten them up from the inside and they would not have been able to separate the truth from the simulation.
But I am sad that such a test exists and cannot and would not be removed from existence. For I understand it is the only way to find out the truth about a person’s real strength.
And in situations like this, the age old solution “forgive and forget” just doesn’t seem to cut it. Nowadays, those are simply words that could easily be bent and broken then reused and abused. A more solid and realistic solution for the continuous monitoring and measuring of the sincerity to be the recipient of forgiveness, I think, should be put in place while those who understand the real essence of the “testing” are still existing and are capable of monitoring the initial batch of persons to be tested on the new “forgive and forget” mechanism aka independent business entity. For very soon, the ancient ways would be replaced by shallow attempts to test a person’s strength when we have ceased to exist.
And for this reason, I have come to appreciate the fact that I am only a stay-at-home mother and unworldly housewife. At least I know I am not important and high profile enough to be tested. That fact alone is a big relief. Whew!
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